Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Somtimes we escape reality

I'm sitting here alone this morning, while Liam is away at Mimi and Babaw's and Dustin is at work, trying to tackle my to-do list...I'm reminded to update Liam's medical history sheet I keep for him, not remembering the last time I had updated it.  I grab my medical notes in my "waiting to be filed" file and start filling in the missing entries....Currently I'm on his recent Cardiology visit and reading over the ensuing notes from his appointment....thinking to myself, sometimes we can escape reality, but it always seems to creep back in.

There's a strange comfort for me in googling his list of 13 Echo interpretations, including convoluted terms such as "right bundle branch block", "peak gradient", "right aortic arch", "aortopulmonary collateral", "interventricular sepal motion"...just to name a few...It's just something I do, cling to the hope in the dictionary term of these nouns, and it always brings me to this "reality" I call it, or be it more an "awareness" of just how complex his case really every appointment, the doctor and team have to decide which of these anomolies vie for the right to create a needed intervention and which are not severe enough to be recognized.  Fear creeps in so easily when we let our worldly, dictionary reality take over...

In my quiet time this morning, God spoke to me about realizing our reality, and how important it is to remember that when we are in Christ, God and His promises ARE to become our reality...Although sometimes hidden from our eyes, just like a heart condition, the heart knows it's weak, imperfect...broken.  Sometimes the things that vie for attention with God need major surgery, while other anomalies co-exist and stem from our major weaknesses.  We sometimes know little about the long list of deficiencies that truly exist in our hearts until we let God, the Master Surgeon, open them up and carefully work to restore, rework and make new.   We trust that God brings these things to healing in His time, and not our own, and we can rest in the peace knowing He sees them.  His dictionary is far greater than ours, and His does not include the word fear.  And like gold, He continues to refine us through these broken places....our constant connection to our Creator.

"So be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."  1 Peter 1:6-7

The parallels with Liam's heart condition is awe God creates this beautiful interpretation through our ordinary, world reality so we can see His work in His heavenly reality for us...Sweet comfort and inexplicable joy for our true and only reality in Christ.  That's something I hope to rest in forever...let there be no escape from the arms of our Savior.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mother's Day....last minute!

First, I wanted to say a big thank you to all of you who have left me the most encouraging and uplifting messages regarding my last post.  We have hope from your encouragement and all the information shared that hopefully our family will grow in due time!

We do have some other VERY exciting news, we are in contract on a new home!  YAY!  After WEEKS of looking and getting very discouraged because literally things are FLYING off the market, God blessed up with the perfect little home a little farther north from where we are now.  We don't have an exact closing date's a HUD and the process is very new to us and our agent....apparently they tell us when things get done... =/  But everything thus far has progressed faster than I expected, so it's moving along.  This is the "project" house we have been wanting, and I can't wait to share all the ideas we have!

Liam is doing fantastic as usual.  His last day of "school" is next Wednesday...I can't believe the school year has come and gone!  And now that I know where we will be living, I can start planning some fun things for summer. 

And since I haven't posted many pictures on here lately, here are some I took yesterday at the park - it had just rained and there was a GIANT puddle on the basketball looked too tempting to tell Liam he couldn't play in it, so I threw our cares to the wind and let him have at it!  He had the best time, and I think I got some pretty cute pics out of all the splashing around!

Tomorrow we'll be heading to church and to my parents house for a Mother's Day dinner.  I wish all my momma friends and family a very blessed Mother's Day!!  And, if you need a last minute printable card idea, I have a FREE Mother's Day 4x6 printable {shown below} posted on my Simple Blessings here to view!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Overdue for an update!

Thank you for everyone who has been praying for my nephew, Ryan.  As of today, he is in stable condition, but still has a long road of healing to go at the hospital.  Please keep him, my brother and sister-in-law and their other son Josh in your prayers.  You guys know how exhausting physically and mentally a long hospital stay can be!

On the homefront here, we have been staying busy as usual and trying to find a new place to call home.  House hunting is proving to be a discouraging and exhausting journey for us =(  The market is completely different then the last time we went to buy a house, and properties are going very quickly.  The only good coming from it right now is that our dependence on God as provider is deepening as is our faith and trust that he has a home for us...somewhere! 

Last week we went down to San Antonio (unfortunately it was for a funeral of a very close friend of Dustin's family) and was able to spend some needed time away with family, even if it was a short trip.  It's always great to get to travel down there and we are thankful most of his family is close by.  Liam also had a friend this time, as Dustin's sister and niece Ella (1.5 years) came down also.  They had the best time together and made me really want a little girl in our family, lol!! 

Speaking of family life, I'm just going to be open and honest that we have experienced another loss which prompted my doctor to do some blood tests.  They have discovered I have a blood clotting disorder that they think is preventing me from holding a pregnancy.  The redeeming part about it (I'm trying to see God's purpose in all of this) is that it makes Liam's story even more a miracle, as the chances of me carrying him to full term were slim and we didn't even know it until now.  I'm just going to say God has a plan in the timing of the news, and it is a comfort to finally have an answer and explanation for what's been happening...I know many times with cases such as mine, there are no answers, so I am very grateful.  Although we have some decisions to make going forward, we find hope that someday our family will grow plus 1 =)

Liam is doing great, despite having his first ear infection last week....I almost took pictures to mark that milestone, ha!  He is growing into a big boy at 3.5 years old, and I just sit in wonder and amazement of how far he has come and what a miracle gift he is to us.  He will soon have his first "last day of school" coming up and I am getting anxious to sign him up for some summer camps, but am waiting to see where we will be living first!  He loves school, so I know summer will be an adjustment for him (and me! lol). 

I think my posture right now is of such surrender and dependence on God.  It seems every area of our life right now hinges on what His plans are for us and it's still unknown to us how it will unfold.  Although it's hard, we are choosing to stand on His promises and walk in joy of what we know is to come =)

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:1-5