Monday, May 10, 2010

5.10.10 - Wonderful 1st Mother's Day!

Well, seeming I haven't blogged in over a week, no news is GOOD news!  Liam is doing great, healthy as a bug right now and we are praying it stays that way the next few weeks.  I had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday, with my family.  My parents and brother and sister-in-law all came over to our house for an early dinner.  We weren't able to make it to church, but I was able to pop by church last Friday (took a day vacation, poor grandpa was sick AGAIN!....He is much better now though!) to drop off some baby clothes and diapers for an outreach ministry they are doing next weekend.  It was great to see a couple of dear friends of mine and fellowship for a little while!

Liam's surgery is still set for June 3rd.  I am anxiously awaiting its arrival....but I have lots to do at work and home to prepare for my 2 week hideout in the hospital.  Keeping busy definately helps my mind from wondering about all the what-ifs...and boy do I wonder sometimes.  I'm the type who could mull over anything for days on end....thankfully, the Lord protects me from myself!  It is a constant struggle for me to surrender to Him my thoughts....but I realize, that is where my attitude stems from.  I can either surrender to Him and have a guarantee of peace or be left to my own spontaneous thoughts and never know what I'm going to get.  I think I'll be havin me some Jesus on my mind!

In honor of all the mother's out there, and especially those near and dear to me, "Heart Moms", I found this poem while on the Congenital Heart Defect Awareness blog and thought I'd share...Happy Mother's Day!

The Day I Became a Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick.
I thought, "am I to blame"?
I don't think I can handle this.
I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking.
I have loved him for so long.

I will not give up on this child.
I will listen to your advice.
I will give my child any chance.
No matter what the price.
I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube.
My child must survive!

Will he need a lot of therapy?
Will he gain the needed weight?
Please God, help me do this.
I will accept our fate.

When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound.
Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another Angel earns his wings,
I run to my child's bed.
I watch him sleep for quite a while.
I bend down and kiss his head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.
I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.

And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here,
but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!

From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.
From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.
From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.
With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.

For all who see that faded line.
I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much.
I would face ANY trial.
That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).
God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).

A heart mom is always a heart mom.
Now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven,
Our hearts share in all of your tears.

Every day I will try and remember,
I was chosen for him (and no other).
I will always embrace that beautiful day.......
When I became a "Heart Mother".

- Author Unknown

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