Somtimes we escape reality

I'm sitting here alone this morning, while Liam is away at Mimi and Babaw's and Dustin is at work, trying to tackle my to-do list...I'm reminded to update Liam's medical history sheet I keep for him, not remembering the last time I had updated it.  I grab my medical notes in my "waiting to be filed" file and start filling in the missing entries....Currently I'm on his recent Cardiology visit and reading over the ensuing notes from his appointment....thinking to myself, sometimes we can escape reality, but it always seems to creep back in.

There's a strange comfort for me in googling his list of 13 Echo interpretations, including convoluted terms such as "right bundle branch block", "peak gradient", "right aortic arch", "aortopulmonary collateral", "interventricular sepal motion"...just to name a few...It's just something I do, cling to the hope in the dictionary term of these nouns, and it always brings me to this "reality" I call it, or be it more an "awareness" of just how complex his case really is...how every appointment, the doctor and team have to decide which of these anomolies vie for the right to create a needed intervention and which are not severe enough to be recognized.  Fear creeps in so easily when we let our worldly, dictionary reality take over...

In my quiet time this morning, God spoke to me about realizing our reality, and how important it is to remember that when we are in Christ, God and His promises ARE to become our reality...Although sometimes hidden from our eyes, just like a heart condition, the heart knows it's weak, imperfect...broken.  Sometimes the things that vie for attention with God need major surgery, while other anomalies co-exist and stem from our major weaknesses.  We sometimes know little about the long list of deficiencies that truly exist in our hearts until we let God, the Master Surgeon, open them up and carefully work to restore, rework and make new.   We trust that God brings these things to healing in His time, and not our own, and we can rest in the peace knowing He sees them.  His dictionary is far greater than ours, and His does not include the word fear.  And like gold, He continues to refine us through these broken places....our constant connection to our Creator.

"So be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."  1 Peter 1:6-7

The parallels with Liam's heart condition is awe inspiring...how God creates this beautiful interpretation through our ordinary, world reality so we can see His work in His heavenly reality for us...Sweet comfort and inexplicable joy for our true and only reality in Christ.  That's something I hope to rest in forever...let there be no escape from the arms of our Savior.

Mother's Day....last minute!

First, I wanted to say a big thank you to all of you who have left me the most encouraging and uplifting messages regarding my last post.  We have hope from your encouragement and all the information shared that hopefully our family will grow in due time!

We do have some other VERY exciting news, we are in contract on a new home!  YAY!  After WEEKS of looking and getting very discouraged because literally things are FLYING off the market, God blessed up with the perfect little home a little farther north from where we are now.  We don't have an exact closing date yet...it's a HUD and the process is very new to us and our agent....apparently they tell us when things get done... =/  But everything thus far has progressed faster than I expected, so it's moving along.  This is the "project" house we have been wanting, and I can't wait to share all the ideas we have!

Liam is doing fantastic as usual.  His last day of "school" is next Wednesday...I can't believe the school year has come and gone!  And now that I know where we will be living, I can start planning some fun things for summer. 

And since I haven't posted many pictures on here lately, here are some I took yesterday at the park - it had just rained and there was a GIANT puddle on the basketball court....it looked too tempting to tell Liam he couldn't play in it, so I threw our cares to the wind and let him have at it!  He had the best time, and I think I got some pretty cute pics out of all the splashing around!

Tomorrow we'll be heading to church and to my parents house for a Mother's Day dinner.  I wish all my momma friends and family a very blessed Mother's Day!!  And, if you need a last minute printable card idea, I have a FREE Mother's Day 4x6 printable {shown below} posted on my Simple Blessings page...click here to view!

Overdue for an update!

Thank you for everyone who has been praying for my nephew, Ryan.  As of today, he is in stable condition, but still has a long road of healing to go at the hospital.  Please keep him, my brother and sister-in-law and their other son Josh in your prayers.  You guys know how exhausting physically and mentally a long hospital stay can be!

On the homefront here, we have been staying busy as usual and trying to find a new place to call home.  House hunting is proving to be a discouraging and exhausting journey for us =(  The market is completely different then the last time we went to buy a house, and properties are going very quickly.  The only good coming from it right now is that our dependence on God as provider is deepening as is our faith and trust that he has a home for us...somewhere! 

Last week we went down to San Antonio (unfortunately it was for a funeral of a very close friend of Dustin's family) and was able to spend some needed time away with family, even if it was a short trip.  It's always great to get to travel down there and we are thankful most of his family is close by.  Liam also had a friend this time, as Dustin's sister and niece Ella (1.5 years) came down also.  They had the best time together and made me really want a little girl in our family, lol!! 

Speaking of family life, I'm just going to be open and honest that we have experienced another loss which prompted my doctor to do some blood tests.  They have discovered I have a blood clotting disorder that they think is preventing me from holding a pregnancy.  The redeeming part about it (I'm trying to see God's purpose in all of this) is that it makes Liam's story even more a miracle, as the chances of me carrying him to full term were slim and we didn't even know it until now.  I'm just going to say God has a plan in the timing of the news, and it is a comfort to finally have an answer and explanation for what's been happening...I know many times with cases such as mine, there are no answers, so I am very grateful.  Although we have some decisions to make going forward, we find hope that someday our family will grow plus 1 =)

Liam is doing great, despite having his first ear infection last week....I almost took pictures to mark that milestone, ha!  He is growing into a big boy at 3.5 years old, and I just sit in wonder and amazement of how far he has come and what a miracle gift he is to us.  He will soon have his first "last day of school" coming up and I am getting anxious to sign him up for some summer camps, but am waiting to see where we will be living first!  He loves school, so I know summer will be an adjustment for him (and me! lol). 

I think my posture right now is of such surrender and dependence on God.  It seems every area of our life right now hinges on what His plans are for us and it's still unknown to us how it will unfold.  Although it's hard, we are choosing to stand on His promises and walk in joy of what we know is to come =)

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:1-5

Calling all prayer warriors....

Our family is asking for some big prayers for my nephew Ryan. He is currently in the PICU and is in critical condition. For privacy I won't share details, but he has been struggling with some health issues for some time, but he is now a very sick little boy. He is a year younger than Liam. I know fellow heart moms as well as our friends and family are prayer warriors and it can be a powerful thing. So Im sounding the alarm for more prayers!! Thank you so much!

First Trip to the Dentist!

Today was Liam's first trip to the dentist and now that I am posting about it, I'm feeling overwhelmingly guilty for not taking one. single. picture.  Ugh...I think my apprehensions about the dentist got the best of me, and I didn't even think about documenting our day.  So, I apologize for my lack of pictures for this huge milestone! {kicking myself!} Although I do have some cute ones from Easter I can insert here for family and friends to see what a big-boy he is turning into...

Resurrection Sunday!

Play-Doh!

Getting a kick out of all his expressions, he has really been discovering different "faces" and it's really funny to watch him, especially when he raises and lowers his eyebrows..too funny

 The dentist visit was probably the best visit to the dentist I have ever encountered.  I have a very real apprehension and anxiety about the dentist, so I am glad to see today that Liam does not share that fear, today at least!  He did great, he sat in the big chair, and it helped that they let him pick out a video to watch on the TV screen ABOVE his chair to watch lying down - he could not get over the fact the had a "TV up there".  And he also got a kick out of the "automatic chair" that moved up and down on it's own. 

The doctor actually did his whole visit, cleaning and all.  She really took her time to get all of his medical history down and asked a lot of good questions and made us feel 100% confident about everything she was seeing and doing.  He has all 20 teeth, yay!  And his teeth are in really good shape!  She did mention his mouth structure is very small, he may have a small crossbite, and he has an unusual palate shape {which she was curious to know if that had anything to do with his swallowing, I said I had not heard anyone say anything about the shape of his palate, so I thought that was interesting}.  We did not push things today with x-rays, so he just had a cleaning.  The dentist modified the cleaning to wipe down his teeth instead of squirting water due to his swallowing issues.  It was a very nice experience and Liam walked away tear-free and with clean teeth!  Everything I was hoping he would today! 

Liam also had a STELLAR swim lesson today, complete with going by himself down the "BIG slide", which is a HUGE accomplishment for him.  I was so proud...he has really been lacking confidence lately, so I am so thankful the teacher was patient with him and that his little friend Avery encouraged him to go =)  He is also swimming better under water and things are starting to look a little brighter on the swimming front, finally.

As for us, some very excited news to share - Dustin passed his Master's Electrician's exam yesterday!  He has been studying like crazy {and I really missed my hubby the past few weeks!} so I am SO very proud of him!  We also put in a bid on a house we really like, so we are praying that the Lord open that door if that's the one for us, or close it quick so we can keep looking, lol =)  It's been a little daunting, as houses are literally flying off the market in record speed right now.  We are excited and anxious to start a new chapter!

Thanks for staying with us and catching up on our happenings!  I know I haven't been posting much lately, but hopefully will start to get more on here now that the busy time of year for me has passed.  Love to you all!

March Madness! {without the brackets!}

While the title of the post may have indicated an interest in basketball, unfortunately we really don't follow the basketball scene (but at least I know that term applies to basketball!).    However, March madness hit our home like crazy this month, so this will be a mish-mash of an update as it's time to play catch up!  And thanks for staying with us if you are reading this, lol =)  Lots of blogging for February + busy time of year for us = lack of posts for March.

We are so thankful Liam's cath went so well.  He bounced back super fast the week day after and we were back to our normal schedule the following week.  He is really doing great on all fronts, and seems to be getting older and more mature every day....well, maturity is relative for little boys, right?? Ha  - Liam is in a stage where he like to just run around in his undies - it must be a boy thing, but at least 90% of time at home he takes off his clothes down to his undies.  Yesterday I had a sitter over to watch him while I went in to work for a few hours, and when I came back, he had his shirt off (thankfully, he had shorts on!) but I had to explain to him he can't do that around others, lol.  We need to keep our clothes on!  I just laugh because I went through a similar phase when I was little, so I'm told =) 

Liam is also talking. NON. STOP.  I love it, he has a terrific sense of humor and it's so funny to get silly and tell jokes and laugh with him!  He is also very meticulous about his way on certain things I've noticed and I am seeing more and more of Dustin and I's traits come out in him (for better or worse, ha!).  He is loving school and is finally starting to remember friend's names and able to tell us what he did during the day (instead of always "I don't know")  Socially, he is blooming, for sure!

Meticulously helping me sort and fill eggs for his class Easter party!

Swimming lessons are going ok.  He was doing really well before we pulled him out in February for a couple weeks before the cath.  Now though he seems to have regressed a little, and he is acting very clingy and scared with his teacher in the water.  It's a little discouraging to watch, and I'm having to remind myself of when Liam was little and how long it took him to hit certain milestones.  It's hard for me to keep a perspective of patience, and that everything will happen in it's time, especially because he is thriving and would seem like that type of stuff should be behind us.  I really just want him to enjoy swimming and be comfortable in the water.  It's definitely a fine line for me to keep being encouraging and supportive, while at the same not using his condition as an excuse for him not to keep trying....I know this is only the beginning, as he gets older he will have to make decisions as far as what his limits are, but I don't want to encourage the wrong attitude or behaviors, I guess is my point...I am praying for wisdom!

Dustin and I have been really busy this month (I think I say that every month, lol).  I have taken on another bookkeeping client from home and starting trying to revive my craft business (hint, hint, my Etsy shop has some new items!) and Dustin has been preparing for his Master Electrician license exam and is also heavily involved with the media department at our church.  We both are also taking a marriage bible study course through our church as well every Sunday.   We have visited with out of town friends, seen our friends here we haven't seen in awhile and had a weeding this month also.  Between, work, school, church activities and other stuff, sometimes it's all we can do to stay above water!  Although, Dustin and I did manage to take a stay-cation before Spring Break and did another Groupon weekend here locally to celebrate our 7 year anniversary! (sorry for the missed anniversary post!). 

Long distant friend reunion!

Mommy and daddy dinner with good friends!

We are going to start looking for another house soon, hopefully.  Our lease is up here in July and with a lot of changes taking place on the real estate market, we have been encouraged to try to find something before the end of May.  I'm excited to hopefully have a little more room and a backyard for the summer =)  I think the apartment transition was definitely a positive move for us though, it's taught us a lot as far as what we REALLY need for a happy home and life in general.  Plus, how much freedom there is in paying down our debt as a result of selling the house.  The Lord has been making some big changes to our hearts as to priorities, our heart's desire for family life and showing us more of what it truly means to live a sacrificial and surrendered life.  It's pretty amazing.

Another dinner with sweet friends!!

That's about it for now!  I'm exhausted just recapping everything going on =)  Thanks for sticking around to read our updates and we wish everyone a BLESSED Easter weekend!

Miracles at play...

Have you ever seen this many smiles on a heart cath day??  I am loving my little miracle man...

Chilling in the pre-op room, waiting for lab draws

 

More smiles!

After some much needed nourishment, smiling and laughing watching new Mickey videos - only 4 hours post op!!

Smiley boy most of the day!

Today was THE best hospital experience we have ever. had. period.  It was a great day...despite what we were here for.  I would say this was a miracle day in many, many ways for us, and I am reveling in God's grace and mercy He has shown us today...thou art Faithful!

First, this morning, before anyone even stirred in our apartment, I was sitting by Liam's beside at 5:30 am about to wake him so he could drink some Pediasure before the 6 hour fast that would start at 6 am...you know the anxious momma syndrome when you plan every last detail into the minutes to be sure your child has the best advantage for a procedure....or is that just me?? Anyways, as I was sitting by his side as he slept, I brushed his hair and softly whispered to him to stir him awake....he turned a few times, but really wouldn't wake.  I sat thinking...what if he doesn't drink this??  He will be SOO hungry later...I really at least want him to have SOMETHING of substance today...worry, worry, worry.  I stopped and prayed and felt like the Lord asked me to surrender those worries to Him and asked me back gently, "so....what if?  Can't I handle that?"  I immediately felt a peace about leaving Liam to sleep some more while I gathered up my bible and went to spend that time in His word, rather than worry about the order of the day.  Miracle #1....Liam woke up around 6:45 (praise God, for I got another 45 minutes of sleep after perusing the Book too!) and he never complained about being thirsty...or hungry before the cath.  He only asked for juice once.  Amen.

Also, there was no traffic on this Monday morning, on a complete construction zoned route to hospital...we can call that Miracle #2 (people in Dallas will here me on this one!).

Once we arrived at the hospital, check in was on time (praise!) and when checked in, NO deductible or co-pay was due today, even after we had already called the insurance to verify the deductible we'd be required to pay for this (beginning of the year especially)....could be a fluke, but I am charging this as Miracle #3.  This stuff just doesn't happen.

They gave Liam the "goofy juice" (Versed, for all my medically inclined friends) and we sent him back to the "special nap room" where the doctor "was going to look at his heart while he slept".  No tears, just big hugs, waves and sweet goodbyes!  Couldn't have been any easier....

Procedure went "better than expected" and Liam's heart looked "better than expected from his recent echo findings".  Huge news for us...Miracle #4.  Doctor said no intervention was required, as all his pulmonary arteries only had mild stenosis and not one warranted any intervention at this time.  So the cath ended up just being a diagnostic, instead of an intervention - YAY!  The only really relevant "finding" for now, was that the pulmonary valve is leaking more than what the echo showed - moderate leakage as opposed to minimal.  And this is what is causing the Echo to show increased pressures (our recent notes showed the echo measured the gradient at 58), however doc said today with his measurements, the actual gradient is closer to 25, only upper range of mild stenosis, instead of being the upper range of moderate stenosis....Miracle #5.

Recovery was pretty much smooooooth sailing.  Liam had his tearful moments, of course, but he was able to communicate so much better than a year ago and that helped TREMENDOUSLY.  Plus, they were able to give him some Fentanyl (pain med) and Zofran (anti-nausea) which did the trick for him.  He only got sick once in the PACU and remained calm after that.  We moved to the pedi floor in record time for us, 1 hour (which is the  minimum PACU stay post-op).  Once on the pedi floor, Liam was calm and relaxed, watched his new Mickey movies and ate and drank like a pro without any sickies....I just can't get over how well he has done today post-op, especially with eating and drinking.  Miracle #6.

We had a nice wagon ride before bed, walking daddy down stairs to go home for the night, came back, watched a show, read a book and now Liam is down and out for the night without a tear or whine.  I am sitting here, totally in awe of today.....just remembering our past and how did we get HERE?  God has done this for us, I am for certain.  We did nothing on our own, except put our trust and faith in Him to takeover the day and make it His own, and boy did He ever.  This momma is humbled and thankful tonight....and finally resting easy. Thank you all for your prayers today, and as you can see, certainly Miracles do happen.

Let the count down begin...

Just a quick update....Today is 1 week until Liam's heart cath {if you missed that post from last week, you can read it here} and last night he was up every hour...This morning he was complaining that his ear "felt funny" and I asked him if it hurt and he says, "Ya"....which explains the night time fiasco we had....great.  I took his temp and it was 100.4...fantastic.  Ugh, we already pulled him out of school last week and he is scheduled to be on house arrest this week to keep him healthy until next Monday.   I gave him some Advil and the temp has gone away and when I ask if his ear hurts, now he says no.  Now I am debating taking him in to the doctors office, where he could catch something else, or waiting it out....decisions, decisions - and lots of prayer...

So we are home bound today, except for maybe going to the health store to get some garlic oil drops for his ears...been reading those can help....Maybe to the doctor, or not.  Praying for wisdom....

CHD Awareness Week - 3, 2, 1....Action! {FREE Printable}

Now that I've shared the AWARENESS, let's talk about simple things we can all do to help - ACTION! 

• Financially contribute to the Children's Heart Foundation or help volunteer or organize a fundraiser for your  local CHD support group.
• Donate blood - most children with a severe heart defect that require surgery, will at some point need blood.  Liam required donor blood for 2 of his heart surgeries.  It's simple and facts show one donation can save the lives of up to three people.  You can get more facts about blood donation and it's importance on the American Red Cross page
• Become an organ donor - a simple check on your driver's license.  Many children with severe heart defects will require a heart transplant.  One organ donor can save up to 8 lives.  Find out more information about organ donation here
• Participate in a heart walk sponsored by a CHD group.
• Advocate to your state legislators about greater funding for CHD's and laws regarding mandatory pulse oximetry screening in your state. {CHOP in Philadelphia has some great resources for advocacy}
• Share CHD information {especially this week!} and heart blogs on Facebook and Twitter
• Tell your friends and family members who are pregnant about pulse oximetry screening and give them the "5 Questions Flyer" for their 20 week ultrasound.
• Watch "Something the Lord Made" - a documentary about the man who invented the "BT Shunt" {that Liam had} and pioneered surgical techniques for children with heart defects, specifically Tetralogy of Fallot.  It is a fantastic movie, with the plus of being about CHD's and showing how research is vital to our children's survival.
• Pray for families affected by CHD's - this may sound simple, but the prayer is powerful.  We have a lifetime of care that will be needed for our children, and prayers do work!

Take ACTION! You can make the difference in the lives of children affected by Congenital Heart Defects!

{Printable can be found in my Etsy shop - Free download period has expired}

CHD Awareness Week - Resources {FREE Printable}

Thanks for taking the time to read our CHD story the past few days.  I'll be closing this week with some specific CHD information, support and resources that have helped us tremendously along our journey. 

When Liam was first diagnosed, we had no road map to navigate our way through medical terminology, prognosis, support or care for our child.  Because we had never heard of a CHD, didn't know just how common they are, we didn't know where to get to get the support we needed.  We also were not in a state of mind to process a lot at that point either, given that we did not find out about Liam's condition until after birth.  Granted we did have excellent medical care for him and a local support group that consistently pursued us to come to meetings (Thanks ALH!!), beyond that it was up to us.

Resources and support are important because if you don't know what you are dealing with, you don't know what questions to ask.  Educating myself on Liam's condition was extremely important in handling his care.  And knowing the right questions is also very important.  Parents are the best advocates for their children and we must have appropriate resources to make the day to day decisions.

Below I listed some resources I have found very helpful in my quest to educate myself on Liam's condition and caring for his special needs with feeding.  This is not an exhaustive list by any means, and I did include here some support information, as well as information you can provide to others in useful ways.

Heart Research

National Heart Lung and Blood Institute - Research for specific CHD types, also gives common treatments available and what to expect.

MayoClinic - Researching different types of CHD, with great multimedia presentations for visual learners!

It's My Heart - Publication that discusses CHD's, types of CHD's and also the procedures and surgeries, in layman's terms.  Created by the Children's Heart Foundation.

American Heart Association - Guide for parents of children with CHD's.  This site also has a very nice FAQ section of "What if my child needs..." type of scenarios,  with linked information for common diseases and disorders that are frequently found in children with CHD's.

Congenital Heart Defects.com - Although slightly outdated, this website has a host of links to online resources. 


Please also check out my sidebar, where I have links to some of our favorite CHD related sites, under "Links We Love"


Prgenancy Awareness Resources for Others

5 questions to ask at your 20 week ultrasound appointment - vital information you need to ask about your baby's heart. - Important information that can help detect heart anomalies, and questions to ensure the sonographer has thoroughly checked the heart.

Information about newborn pulse oximetry screening tests - A simple test done at birth that can save your child's life.


Support and Other Resources

Book - Your Critically Ill Child: Life and Death Choices Parents Must Face - This is a great book for all parents of critically or chronically ill children.  This really helped me see how the PICU operates and what the limitations and challenges the doctors and nurses face when dealing with critically ill children.  It is written by an intensivist and he openly and honestly expresses his thoughts on different situations to support parents in making decisions for their families in critical times.  It also empowered me to be a better advocate for Liam when in the hospital setting and provided me the insight and encouragement needed to do so successfully.

A Different Dream for My Child, by Jolene Philo - This is a meditation/devotional book for parents of critically or chronically ill children.  It is a wonderfully insightful, powerful and intimate look at caring for your child, from diagnosis and beyond.  Using scripture to reference the various "stages" (such as diagnosis, hospital life, home life, long-term care, etc.), this book reads very much like a devotional.  Very handy to have a copy on hand for anyone you meet who has a newly diagnosed child....I truly believe it would be a blessing to have a copy from the beginning, but more than worth it to read wherever you are in your journey.

Blogs and BabyCenter Groups - These have been vital for information that is specific to each child individually, but also can help you to look to the future of your child's issue and help find resources specifically with what your child is going through.  A good resource for finding out what to expect during hospital stays, procedures and surgeries.  The list of blogs I follow is on my sidebar.  These amazing families have helped me in all sorts of ways.  Please take some times to visit their pages!

A thorough list of resources can be found here, at this amazing heart mom's blog page.

 {Printable can be found in my Etsy shop - Free download period has expired}