Saturday, October 17, 2009

10.17.09 - Bittersweet

We got the news we didn’t want to hear today.  Liam will have to be on complete tube feedings for awhile, as he is still aspirating the thickened feeds.  His vocal chord will have to heal and resume some movement before we can try to bottle feed him again and there is no telling how long that will take.  We have to decide if we can handle feeding him with an NG tube or if we want a more permanent feeding tube placed in his stomach.  Dustin and I both feel like the NG tube is the best choice for us and the doctor is confident that we can handle it.  However it is more risky, as improper placement can be very dangerous.  The more permanent feeding tube would require another surgery and we just don't think we want to put Liam through anything else right now. 

The good news is, once they teach us how to do his feedings we can go home.  We will have to room-in with him one night at the hospital first, to make sure we can handle giving him all his medications and feedings on our own.  Hopefully, this next week we can finally go home!

I am honestly a little scared of what is to come bringing Liam home.  As some of you know, I can be a little bit of a hypochondriac, so having a sick child that requires extra care and worry will be quite a test for me.  I am often reminded over and over again by friends and family that the Lord will not give you more than you can handle.  I know this to be true, for it is His strength that is perfected in our weakness.  I have often wondered what is in store for our little boy - why God chose him to be so special.  I know that enormous blessings await him and even though I am scared and worried for him, I am also excited to see what the future holds for his life.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

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